Daily Archives: February 1, 2011

The Black Swan in All of Us

Good evening bloggy boos! Hope you’ve had a great Tuesday:)

I loved reading your comments on my last post! Reading random things about you guys makes me smile and feel like less of a crazykins:)

Tonight I’d like to talk about an issue that has been on the brain for a bit of time now, and needs to let loose.

Over the weekend, I saw Black Swan.

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It made me feel so many emotions: unsettled, disturbed, sad, excited, humored, but the greatest of these was disturbed.

The main character (played by Natalie Portman) is a ballet dancer, living with her single mother as an adult and trying so hard to be the “perfect” ballerina.

Natalie Portman had to lose a lot of weight for this movie, to become what was referred to by the film makers as “emaciated”. I am not one to make judgement calls on one’s appearance, but their description of the actress’ condition certainly played to the fact that many of the character’s behaviors portrayed that of a girl with an eating disorder, which is a strong symbolic representation of the strive for perfection.

I know this because five years ago, I battled and overcame a terrible eating disorder that almost consumed my life. So, seeing this movie obviously brought back some dark memories, and was ultimately disturbing.

This intrigued me. Not because of the condition of the character, nor because of her portrayal, but because of the symbolic meaning.

She is asked to dance the part of the White Swan and the Black Swan at the same time, and through her struggle to portray the Black Swan, she ultimately finds hers.

Isn’t this quest for “perfect” exactly what we all get trapped in?

I think it is. We all want the perfect grades, the perfect man, the perfect family, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect friends, perfect body..you get the idea.

But most of all, what we find ourselves trapped in is having the perfect diet or having a perfect fitness level.

Let me tell you a little story.

This morning, I woke up and packed my gym bag with every intention of going to the gym after my last class. I went through the day’s routine, and finally came home before I was supposed to go to the gym.

And you know what? I was tired. And every time I thought of getting on a workout machine, I cringed a little bit, and my bed seemed more and more appealing.

So, you know what I did? I had a bowl of hummus with raisins and then took a two hour nap.

And it rocked.

When I decided in myself to skip today’s workout and give my body the rest it deserved, a pang of guilt pinched in my chest for a second.

Woah, hold on there! Why should any of us feel guilty for giving our bodies rest?

Girls, listen and listen hard: exercise for vibrancy, and rest for rejuvenation.

If you need some rejuvenating, don’t put the extra stress on your body and set your body’s vibrancy clock backwards. Instead, give your body what it needs and then exercise when you’ve got your vibrancy back.

At church on Sunday, one of my ministers gave a sermon on “sick professions”. He spoke about the fact that Americans are constantly trying to be more productive in their lives and their careers instead of doing something that serves to help the world and people around them. Because of this, we end up feeling used instead of well-used.

Do you see the difference?

If not, think of it this way: if your heart is not in it, you most likely feel used. If your heart is in it, you feel that you are well-used, and part of a greater purpose.

The reason I tell you this is because it can apply to everything in life. If your heart isn’t in your exercise, don’t do it. You will just end up feeling used. Instead, take a break until your heart is in it again, and use that to find your vibrancy.

Today, I gave my body rejuvenation. I fought the urge to make myself productive in an ultimately un-productive way. That pang of guilt ain’t got nothing on me! The urge to be “perfect” consumes all of us sometimes, giving us the inability to see the good, the truth, and listen to our best friend: our own bodies.

That is my Black Swan.

What’s yours?

xoxox,

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Tangent Tuesday

Good morning lovies, and Happy Bunny Bunny Day! I hope everyone had an awesome Monday:)

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful comments on my last post! I loved hearing your stories and opinions about “supporting the troops”, whether it be through supporting someone you love, being a soldier yourself, or simply supporting the humanity of our men and women in uniform.

Additionally, I cannot be more thankful for all of you who are praying for my family. The last few months have been a trying time, which I will talk about on CK eventually, but for now needs to remain a family matter.

It warms my heart that we are in your thoughts and prayers! Please also keep Allie’s grandmother and family in your thoughts and prayers. Together, we can all get through the best of times and the worst of times! That is one of the reasons I love blogging so much, all of YOU:)

You really are the sweetest readers in the world, and I cannot even tell you how much it means to me to read your sweet comments and e-mails every day. Sorry to get all sappy on yous, but I just love you guys so much!! Let’s all have a bloggy meetup and talk about our deepest darkest secrets and eat lots of cookies and pizza and chocolate, mmmk?:)

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I really wanted to blog yesterday, but I was just too busy! The start of being a second semester senior is both stressful and exciting. Preparations for and decisions about the end of the year (and next year!) are being made, and I cannot wait to get a head start on my life:)

So, now for Tangent Tuesday! My girl Janae started Three Tangent Tuesday a week or two back, and I caught on with the tradition, but today I am just going to go on a tangent instead of telling you three random things because I like to talk too much🙂

Firstly, I got this son-of-a-gunster in the mail yesterday, and I cannot put it down. Can I just say that Brendan Brazier is a genius, aka my idol, aka reading this book is going to make me super speedy:)

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If you have not tried Vega products or heard about Brendan, you clearly live under a rock (just kidding…kind of) and need to go check it out now (the funk soul brotha…name that song!). He will make you an athletic MONSTA:)

Also, I started two new classes! Psychology and Law & Government.

Psych I just love, and Mr. Hiller is bomb. He has incredible dry humor that makes me want to be his best friend. Because it’s TOTALLY not weird to want to be friends with your psych teacher.

Law & Government is a riot because it is taught by my main man, DWilson. And yes, I call him DWilson. Last year, I had a serious boyfriend (a story for another day), and he would bring me to his Law & Government class on occasion to show me off and just basically be a riot (he was the “funny guy”). So, DWilson and I are tight. We chat about wisdom teeth and all things hilarious like Jersey Shore and whoopie cushions.

You know, normal stuff.

In P.E. we started our square dancing unit, which is like a BIG DEAL at our school. First of all, everyone loves it because we don’t have to change, and everyone gets super into it and wears cowboy hats and boots. At the end, there’s a square-dance-off that is televised throughout our district and people actually care about winning this thing. And no, there is no prize like a giant jar of pickles or anything.

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HALT, QUICK NOTE!!

This is really really important. So listen up.

I discovered that Cookie Dough Bowls are even better with a tablespoon of chia seeds and a tablespoon of ground flax mixed in pre-soaking (ew, soak is such an icky word!), if it is even possible to make these any better.

Well technically, you could add a bucketful of Swedish Fish and Twizzlers and chocolate chips and marshmallows and chocolate sauce, but that is only allowed on Sundays.

So, if you haven’t had one yet, I am here to inform you that you have not lived and must go mix one up right now. Yeah, right now as in get off your tooshie, missy!

 

That is a recycled picture because I blog too early in the morning and there is no such thing as natural light in Upstate New York.

Sorry, kiddos, you would NOT want to see one of these bowls in fluorescent lighting and all mixed up, it is not a pretty sight. But then again, fugly food always tastes the best, right?;)

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Tell me three random things about you!

Feel free to rant, your comments make me smile:)

What books are you loving lately?

I need suggestions, one of my New Year’s rezzies is to read more but that is currently a fail, give me something highly entertaining and delicious:)

Tell me your stories about your senior year! Or, if you’re not out of high school, tell me about what you’re looking forward to in your senior year!

I just love being a senior, end of story. I will have to elaborate more in another post;)

Talk to you later lovlies! It’s time for me to put some real clothes on and go to psych. Have a rockin Tuesday!

xoxox,

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